Archive for May, 2014

…well, one of them.

After years of service, Righty Toe-Nail and I have parted ways. It was an amicable split, he popped off and is heading for pastures new.

I think it was Glasgow to Edinburgh that did it, 55 miles in my company was just a bit too much for him. I can’t say I blame him, I was getting a bit bored of me by the end.

I hope you’ll all join me in wishing him all the best wherever he may end up, and hope that he doesn’t start up a rival blog, as he’s been quite a significant contributor over the years.

Ta-ta Righty, you’ve been a great source of support.



Soooo, there’s this magazine, Like The Wind, that came out a couple of months ago, you may have seen it. Lots of grand stories about runners and their lives, proper motivational stuff. I bought a copy, I stuck the the post cards up at work, I read it once, then again, and put it back in its envelope to keep it safe.

I wrote them a little e-mail, saying that I liked the magazine. Come to think of it, it may have been on Twitter.

They had a look over here at the blog and said they liked it.

I came up with a couple of ideas for articles and sent them in, they suggested I write one up and send it through.

I did.

Long story shot they put my article in the second issue and it’ll be available around the end of the month.

If you want to get a copy and marvel at the transference of my wonky thought process to the printed medium, you can order one here:

Like The Wind shop

You really ought to get one, it’ll be mint – the other stories alone will make it worthwhile, you might even like mine…

Consider my trumpet well and truly blown.

(I won’t believe it until I actually see it in print, but I can’t pretend I’m not extremely excited.)

And it was only a short run too.

I had a little jaunt around the woods this afternoon, it was quite lovely, there was a bit of sun and everything, just to remind me that the universe is a lovely place.

Because I’m a bit random about route-finding, there was a sizeable hill in the middle of the run. Not such a grand plan after two and half weeks of no running. As I plodded my wheezy way up, I rediscovered my arms, which I’d misplaced some time earlier. To be honest I’ve got arms that pipe cleaners would laugh at, and then probably beat me in an arm wrestle. It does come in handy if I ever have to pick something up that’s on the other side of a wall made of Polo mints, which happens more often than you would think.

By pumping these impressive contraptions in time with my spindly legs I found I could make slightly better headway than my usual clumpy struggling. Not bad, though the trick is in the timing – turns out if you get the timing wrong, then you run the risk of falling over in the brambles. Ouchie.

Then I remembered my gluteus maximus, or arse as you might call it. Wikipedia points out that it’s “the most superficial of the three gluteus muscles”, and I have to agree that it’s never come up with any deep opinions so far. Last time I was out I’d read something along the lines of “move your arse when you go uphill”. Not in the usual motivational “get a shift on” sense, but in a “swing your bum to move the ol’ hips” style. I remembered that it had worked quite well last time, so I gave that a go too.


It turns out I can only think about one body part at a time, but then I am a man, so that should be no surprise. Trying to co-opt two component parts into the conspiracy that is my running at the same time is entirely beyond me. The only way to achieve this lofty aim would be to get one worked out and second nature and then concentrate on the other. But which one first?

And that’s my dilemma (lemma is a Greek character shaped like the horns of a bull (∑) and di-lemma, meaning “two lemma”  leads to the popular (perhaps if you’re an ancient Greek) saying of being ‘caught on the horns of the bull’) – which one will help more? Possibly the answer is ‘either’, but that doesn’t really move the conversation along.

I reckon the arm pumping would look mighty fine, so long as I don’t overdo it, but then the arse-moving sounds like it would be good for the muscles. Am I so shallow that I would make a decision based on what would look like? Clearly not (oh yes I would).

Oh, the agony of choice…

What would you do?